Showing posts with label Pam Spaulding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pam Spaulding. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Health journey: when the mirror still doesn't match reality

I still don't see myself in the mirror as Panda down 63 lbs. 🐼 It's only when I come across pics like the one on the left that I see the huge difference (someone had this screencap from a CNN appearance from my blogging days during the 2008 presidential cycle on their blog).



I was on 3 types of insulin/injectibles for diabetes 3x/day (now I'm off all of them)! Ironically, it was also before rheumatoid arthritis struck (2012) and my L5-S1 herniation, surgery, re-herniation, and last year the disabling disc collapse. I'm thankful that I was not carrying the extra weight during this last physical/health disability that led to my termination from a 22 - year career at Duke University Press after my FMLA ran out.

But I didn't give up. I am very slowly and carefully working on supporting my back after 3 months of inactivity, first using a walker and then a cane. On the bad days when that nerve gets pressed, it's like an electrical shock and acute pain beyond belief leaving me practically bedridden; other days I can walk unassisted. I can't sit or stand for hours at a time as I did when running/writing the Blend, but I'm doing my best to reboot my life, remake and better myself.

My dilemma is I really can't consider fusion surgery for a variety of reasons, but the real kicker is the discs above and below the collapsed one are also degenerating, so fusion to them for L5-S1 will hasten their collapse, leading to additional fusion surgery. So my spine is a time bomb, but I can't give up, just forge ahead to make the most of what lies ahead.

What I am grateful for is your amazing kindness and support of my GoFundMe campaign (http://gofundme.com/pamscomeback) to get through this tough limbo period as bureaucracy leaves me twisting in the wind awaiting decisions from Duke and its disability carrier. The latest update is I should know by the first week in May what my options are to move on.

Chronic, disabling pain is an invisible disability that is life-altering, as many of you have shared in messages and emails to me. It can make life seem hopeless one day, and possible to rise above the next. Dealing with medical professionals to address pain management in a healthy way is its own challenge as well. But I'm here to say not to give up.

Love,
Panda 🐼 (Pam Spaulding)

Friday, February 26, 2016

Getting the boot after decades of service -- the Family Medical Leave Act's limitations

12/19/2015 just before the
disc collapse.
Just remember, even after putting in decades on the job...if you have a disability/chronic condition that requires ongoing medical treatment, surgery or both, those 12 weeks of time under the Family Medical and Leave Act (FMLA) are all you are legally entitled to under federal law. And then your employer can choose to let you go.

One can ask for reasonable accommodations under the Americans With Disabilities Act, such granting an extension of FMLA's job protection for the employee to complete recovery from surgery/rehab, etc.

However, even with physician recommendations provided, it is still the decision of the employer whether to accept that extension request. A company, if large enough, can sometimes accommodate under the ADA by attempting to match the person to another position (of equal level or lower) in the wider organization.

The employee often ends up on the short end of the stick.

Many people end up broke in situations like this, losing their homes, vehicles, etc. they lose the ability to make a living, get into the long disability process and medical bills destroy their lives. All because they got sick...and the limitations of FMLA as a safety net became a stark reality.

***

Anyway, with that general information dispensed with, I found out this week that major life changes are ahead for Panda. Priority 1: Panic avoidance - keeping a roof over your head. Priority 2: Handling disability. Priority 3: Figuring out a next chapter and where it takes you.

Dealing with a situation where I already have rheumatoid arthritis, and this acute recent problem - a reherniation of lumbar disc at L5-S1 that has now collapsed -- and L3 and L4 are not far behind --  it is a life altering state at the moment. It could remain acute and painful (sitting at a desk or standing to work for a full day is simply not tolerable). You know it's bad when the most you can do is lie in bed with a pillow between your knees, on your side, and tap out Facebook entries to pass the effing time, or compose emails on your cell phone to try to manage appointments and respond to questions.

Where making a ten-foot trip to the bathroom can be painful and a fall-risk at times. A far cry from walking 2 miles a day, losing 60+ lbs just a few months ago. I have managed to hold my weight loss steady. The "pain diet" works wonders for appetite suppression.

Taking time off for anterior fusion surgery exceeds FMLA time (too risky because of my RA and the frontal approach) and recuperation is long - 4-18 months. So that was out. Getting stabilized (or find out if I can recover enough to return to work) with PT, alternative therapies and medication could do the same - and has run out the FMLA clock.

Life has not treated me kindly so far in 2016. Hopefully something will change for the better. I may have to sell my house and move.

***

I have to give a shout-out of love to two really important friends in my life who have been right there for me during the past year of difficult times - Joe Sudbay, citizen journalist extraordinaire and partner in crime during my Pam's House Blend days; and my bestie and Grand Poobah, Jeff Salado, lead singer and manager of the tribute band Journey Revisited Faithfully Live.



Both of them are lifelines to sanity and support in times of such upheaval and doubt. I love my buds; it's not often to have not one, but two such beautiful souls have your back.

With Joe Sudbay, 2012 Netroots Nation
With Jeff Salado, October 2015; he gave me the Panda nickname.
Can't say much more than what you see here (and not taking questions, btw). Much is in flux.

***

Bonus - the response (click over for comments) when I posted this message on Facebook:


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The frontman's journey - Jeff Salado recreates the Steve Perry experience for Journey Revisited

By Pam Spaulding ("Panda", JR Team Captain)
(Originally published 12/11/2014, updated 11/13/2015)

The stellar timeless songwriting, musicianship, harmonies and tenor-based vocals of Journey are easily recognizable, embedded in cultural references, and are celebrated by millions. Many are enamored of not only the hits, but the deep cuts and varied textures and genres that the band dared to dip into over the decades -- blues, R&B, rock, and pop. It’s no surprise that among those who grew up with the iconic music are now musicians and vocalists inspired to pay tribute to Journey by performing the work live -- including the members of Journey Revisited.

Journey Revisited's lead singer Jeff Salado asked me what I thought about seeing the band for the first time live -- when I came out to California in November 2014.

With experience as a journalist, photographer, and videographer, I decided to give him feedback/insight that he was unlikely receive from the average concert-goer. What was surprising is that once he read it, he asked me to recast what was a private email into an article because he wanted to share with you all what it's like to perform through my lens as a writer, a fan and good friend.

Prior to that November Black Oak Casino performance, I had only seen Jeff onstage via video. where it's clear that he has great stage presence and stagecraft -- he interacts with fans, and connects them to the music of Journey. I did, however, have the good fortune to spend time with him prior to the concert, hanging out in his environment -- seeing the offstage Jeff Salado.

Most fans never get to interact with that Jeff - the goofy, funny, nerdy, lovable guy who's also capable of conversations of great intellectual depth and thoughtfulness. A dude who loves talking Journey from the perspective of a singer (of course), muscle cars of all brands and styles, boxing, history, science and classic TV. Jeff possesses a noggin full of useless trivia like myself that makes conversations incredibly interesting. That guy isn't on stage.

The joy in live performance is imperfection, the choices of the artist ensures that each performance is uniquely owned and delivered to the audience is a key goal. Audiences continue to seek out the golden tones, the rich warmth and raw emotive draw that Steve Perry evoked during his tenure with Journey. The tribute bands yearn to satisfy that thirst for melodic sound that moves fans of Journey’s classic album oriented rock.

The challenge for Jeff Salado, a huge Perry and Journey fan, is to keep that level of quality, fidelity and emotion pouring forth each gig to connect with the music and channel that energy to ardent fans of the aural benchmark set by Steve Perry.

So my presence at Black Oak as a working professional (to capture photos and video) allowed me unique access to observe passively on multiple levels. After the show, I had a lot to say about that experience, but not in detail, or with a critical eye. So here's my perspective on the Journey Revisited lead singer...what you see and experience is more than meets the eye.

The Professional Jeff

This is the serious guy you see at the venue working on sound check, trying out an ear monitor, or the green room discussing band plans for the year. He's quite relaxed but carries a level of command of the room that telegraphs business. After all, this is a job for all of them. They are all conscious of wanting to be at their best to please the audiences that eagerly await hearing classic Journey.

It's also reflected in the photos in the Green Room. You'll notice that the other guys are relaxed, focusing on their own warm up routines, but Jeff's presence set the tone for the evening, loose but mindful of the task at hand, for instance, inquiring about adding songs to the roster for the next year, and how the band can accomplish learning them by tour time.

There were a couple of unusual circumstances that night -- I was introducing the band on stage, and they were celebrating guitarist Val Popovic's birthday. So Jeff and Val were holding court in discussions, considering whether to sing a version of "Lights" based on the studio recording or a live version.

Jeff's ability to stay motivated in adverse conditions is remarkable; that night at Black Oak was an unusual perfect storm to vex a vocalist -- the smoke in the casino was overwhelming due to a group that arrived and proceeded to smoke out the capacity of the air system to clear it out. Cigarette smoke flowed freely into the concert venue space.

It's enough to shake any vocalist - the issue became so problematic that Jeff, during the performance, twice asked me to retrieve lozenges from the dressing room in a valiant attempt to keep his vox from being affected by the smoke. Everyone in the venue was feeling the horrible burn. It is also not surprising how well Jeff pushed past it, making slight vocal changes and choices to accommodate the uncertainty of his ability to deliver certain notes -- a hallmark of a self-aware vocalist. Jeff's had to endure enough uncertainties and frustrations and always forged ahead as the professional that he is. But he has remained humble.

It's rare for an artist to talk about an off-night; it's a vulnerability that many won't admit to. But the reality is that we're only human; and Jeff wanted me to share that it's something he's not ashamed of; we all have days where we come up short for whatever reason. It's no different for entertainers  -- their skills and performance are dependent on tissues that get strained by smoke or hurt by allergies. The show must go on.

And consistency is key to any tribute band. After all, JR has to perform gig after gig to represent the peak of Journey live. Even that stellar band had off nights. Journey Revisited has to replicate landmark sounds such as the 1981 Live in Houston concert that Jeff models some of his Perry vox from. This consistency is why JR won a coveted Modesto Area Music Award for Best Blue Collar/Cover Band in 2015.

David Hawkes (drums), Jeff Salado, and Val Popovic (guitar) picked up the MAMA at the
Modesto Area Music Awards for Best Blue Collar/Cover Band. Oct 20, 2015

The Onstage Jeff

This aspect of Jeff Salado will be familiar to many of you. My first reaction to seeing him onstage in person (after doing the band intro I had to quickly get offstage and get down in the venue to see the rest of Escape) was "WOW." Hearing his voice live with my own ears -- it was literally going from mono to stereo for me, and I was having a hard time concentrating on my photography during that number; I had to keep stopping to look up at Jeff to reconcile what I was hearing with seeing him up there on stage with the guy I just had lunch with, cutting up with friends.

And, as I mentioned above, I saw him on what he considered an off-night because of the smoke affecting his breathing, challenging him when hitting/holding certain notes that he normally does with ease. He also was mindful about some mistakes in timing on certain songs.

These are things the vast majority of people in the audience didn't notice or care about. But the perfectionists of Journey Revisited always want to deliver 110%, Jeff included. For Jeff that means focusing on his stagecraft and appearance as well -- he told me, "it's not only the music, it's how it's being presented and looking our best and feeling our best is doing our best."

For me, imperfections are part of the beauty of live performance though; you're seeing the marvel of the gift of the human voice, a fragile instrument with miraculous ability to produce sounds so rousing, so moving. Not everyone is as blessed with the physical goods to produce the notes that Steve Perry did, but to have the skill of controlling that instrument to project sound with such clarity and power and emotion is one of Jeff Salado's natural gifts that he works hard to hone for the audience.
Photo by Jeff Hall
The band digs deep to deliver no matter what the conditions are.

The Journey catalog is already a high bar to clear instrumentally; and the Bay Area arena rock supergroup’s era that is the most in demand to hear live is the Steve Perry years (1978-1996). Gig after gig, those classic, stratospheric vocals have to be recreated at an almost impossible standard -- one that even Steve Perry couldn’t reproduce consistently live, simply because we’re talking about the human voice.

The difficulty of being a lead singer is that you can't replace pipes like guitar strings and every night, every venue is different environment. The one thing I wish for, as part of the band's support infrastructure, is that I lived closer to see JR live more frequently to enjoy the uniqueness of each performance, the nuances, the choices made (I live in NC).

The "It" Factor

It makes for a more informative piece to discuss this section not in a cheerleader "isn't Jeff cute and he sings great" review. It means so much more to describe how the performances work, and how that the forces align to deliver a special experience for fans, casual and die hards alike.

For me, seeing Jeff the performer up there, the offstage Jeff ceases to exist; this onstage Jeff delivers a huge dose of liquid mojo out there for the audience to drink in. What is it?


Vox - His pipes are amazing; I could hear that despite the challenges that night at Black Oak. One video, I watched over and over afterwards, was Too Late because his vocals speak to me in that song, and the band is so tight on it. I think many fans find the sweet spots in their favorite Journey songs that Jeff sings that you walk away wanting more. His range, his power, and his strong Perry-like vibrato and tone are what sets him apart from other Journey tribute singers.

He also shares with Perry a gifted fine ear for pitch -- hearing the notes with clarity and able to reproduce accurately on demand. That takes much more work than what average people can accomplish without major effort, but it is second nature to the Journey Revisited vocalist.


 After a gig, Jeff always has singers and vocal coaches come up to ask how he does it. But sometimes it really looks like he isn’t really thinking about it. They have no idea that Jeff has zero formal training, and employs no regular routine to maintain those golden pipes. He’s like a car that never needs an oil change.

"I have NO regimen, I'm pretty much a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants singer."
-- Journey Revisited lead singer Jeff Salado, on whether he has regular routines to maintain his voice

But he knows that to preserve what he has will take more work down the line.

One thing that is quite noticeably different about Jeff in comparison to Steve Perry is his speaking voice. Perry in older interviews has an almost alto, soft voice; Jeff is most definitely a baritone and a harmonious, deep resonant one at that. It's immensely pleasing, though it's not called upon for the Journey catalog. He would make a great DJ...

Emotive ability - He puts himself into the song; Jeff has the ability to "perform" emotion even when he's not feeling it that night. Even though I knew he was having a rough go of it (i.e., the lozenges run), when I would watch him, I felt the songs, I felt the resonance and connection to them. That's a hallmark of a pro.

Physical performance: Jeff gives it all onstage -- often at his own expense in post-gig pain. I know he wishes he could jump off the riser every night, but no one takes the Perryisms and runs with them in spades like he does. He projects a significant bodycon (body confidence) onstage.

JR fans are roused by the music as Jeff performs the classic hits no longer covered by Journey proper in concert. He brings not only the essence of Perry's notable energy to the stage, but Jeff  (and his many female fans aren't hearing any news here) brings a considerable dose of his own mojo that he naturally projects and and overlays on top of it. It's why he has such a tremendous...

 photo Jeffconnect_zps7n9uypkl.gifAudience connection - If you were standing near that stage, which I often was, I was bowled over at how dynamic and powerfully he draws people to him. When he looks directly at people during a song that energy flows to them, and reflects back. It's exciting to experience.

Several times he looked at me as he does to people in the audience all the time. When I saw the images, as I was going through the 800+ shots taken during the show, I could actually recall that energy. It's why audiences come back, and want to come back. He connects as an artist.

Jeff on what he is trying to project:
"I want people to feel special because they are; when they go home after a JR concert, I want them to feel that there was a connection directly with me in the hope that we'll see them at our next concert. We do everything we can to make each show even better."
After a decade of covering public figures and politicians for a nationally read, influential political blog, I can honestly say I've seen few people onstage or out in the political realm with the kind mojo Jeff Salado has.  Jeff has the ability to make everyone else in the room disappear when he looks at you. You feel like you are the center of his universe, with undivided attention, whether it is for a few seconds, or a few minutes of conversation. He makes that person feel special in some way. There's no way to create it or recreate it. This is priceless when interacting with fans after a gig. He gives it all in those moments.

I've had discussions with Jeff -- amusing ones at times -- about this energy and its impact on women. It's there onstage, but it's also there when he's still in stage persona and interacting with people of all persuasions. He obviously knows how to turn on the considerable natural charm, but it's that extra something special that just flows from him that is non-denominational -- many rock stars have it like Steve Perry, Mick Jagger, and Robert Plant. But he projects it earnestly and with approachability.

Many in the audience can feel that energy from an artist, but they just can't quite put a finger on why they are drawn to that person onstage or articulate it, in this case that mojo's coming from a Journey tribute band singer named Jeff Salado. He has "It" and knows how to use it, whether innately or that he's developed it over the years through self-awareness of it.

Since that Black Oak concert, I've worked with the band at gigs at the Covina Center for the Performing Arts (Los Angeles in a theatre venue), Victorville (the San Bernardino County Fair on a huge pro-production outdoor stage), and in San Jose at Rockbar, a 1,000-capacity nightclub with a pro-level lighting/sound environment). They throw it down in every venue and provide huge opportunities to capture dynamic photos, audio and video for fans who don't have the ability to attend.

Like Perry, Jeff walks a tightrope each gig without a net, no Auto Tune, no lip sync. And the songs are not dropped a half-step, they are performed in the merciless standard E tuning. It's Jeff’s vocal instrument out there, often without support for adequate rest, or experiencing weather conditions at gigs where temperatures may exceed 120 F onstage, as was the case at Kings Fair in Hanford, California in June 2015. And that is the story of so many vocalists at the working tribute band level. And unlike Perry, who as the originator of these songs had the latitude to try alternate interpretations live, tribute singers like Jeff Salado have to pick a live or studio version that is familiar to the audience and try to match it, note-for-note each time.

I told Jeff to read this from time to time to remind himself what sets him apart as a performer and professional from so many others. You'll have to weigh in to share your thoughts about what Jeff brings to a Journey Revisited performance.

And thank you, Jeff, for being so willing to open up and share!

--Panda



Journey Revisited - Separate Ways - Rockbar Theater - 10/16/2015.
Journey Revisited - Separate Ways - Rockbar Theater - 10/16/2015. Prepare to be wowed!
Posted by Journey Revisited on Thursday, October 29, 2015


Journey Revisited - Lights/Stay Awhile - Covina, CA 3/22/2015
Journey Revisited - Lights/Stay Awhile - Covina, CA 3/22/2015. Vid by Pam Spaulding (Panda) #journeyrevisited
Posted by Journey Revisited on Monday, April 13, 2015



Journey Revisited - Loving You Is Easy - Rockbar Theater - 10/...
Journey Revisited - Loving You Is Easy - Rockbar Theater - 10/16/2015. Prepare to be wowed! Click HD to see in high-def.http://www.facebook.com/JourneyRevisitedhttp://www.journeyrevisited.com#journeyrevisited #journeytributeband #tributeband #rockbar #like4like #instadaily #instagram Rockbar Theater
Posted by Journey Revisited on Thursday, October 29, 2015


Journey Revisited - Just the Same Way - Rockbar Theater - 10/1...
Journey Revisited - Just the Same Way - Rockbar Theater - 10/16/2015.
Posted by Journey Revisited on Thursday, October 29, 2015

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Health progress update - when the image in the mirror still doesn't match reality



Panda health progress update! Still losing...and trying to find a few new pieces of clothing that will 1. Stay up. 2. Fit some kind of way as I drop the last 25 lbs.

So Saturday I went into Kohls, and needed a light sweater because I have been so cold intolerant, and saw a nice one in the Juniors section.

Shock #1: I picked up an XL (I have no clue what Juniors size that is, maybe a 13?) and said "this will never fit." I pull it over my dang rack and IT FIT. It was $17, so I got it.
Shock #2: Just for giggles I go over to the Juicy jeans section. Let's try on some pants. I eyeball a pair that roughly looks like it MIGHT fit, might be too small, not looking at the size. Get in the fitting room and THEY FIT. Not quite right though, wrong cut for me. Too loose in the legs, and too snug in the waist so they went back on the rack. BUT THEY WERE A SIZE 10! Unreal. I started out on this journey a 22.

Seriously, I still look in the mirror and don't see someone that small. But this week a photo turned up in my feed (Autumn and Laurel, sorry I cropped you on this one!), and it reminded me very starkly what I looked like five years ago. Big change from that time (61 lbs heavier then), but I will never be petite, mind you. And that's ok.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Got your tickets for Journey Revisited's hot three-day L.A.-area gig at Covina?

JR's original two-day gig, March 20-21 -- its first tour in the Los Angeles area -- at the Covina Center for the Performing Arts had such strong advance sales that a third show, on Sunday the 22nd, was added by the venue! Journey Revisited lead singer Jeff Salado is stoked:
"With the show in Covina Ca coming up and nearly all 3 days are sold out, who's bought and paid for tickets to come see JR at Covina Center for the Performing Arts, March 20-22?"



It's going to be a blast -- everyone is looking forward to seeing JR die-hards and to meet new fans during this series of gigs. See you there!

***

Info: http://www.covinacenter.com/
Tickets $20/$30. Order here: http://goo.gl/e4xbHZ

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

JR heads to L.A.: 1 night of Covina 2-nighter already sold out. Want a 3rd show?

UPDATE! It's official - there will be a third show on Sunday! Show up in full force and rock out to the Journey classics the way you want them!

***

The word is out - the best Journey tribute band is hitting the L.A. area this month - Journey Revisited will play the Covina Center For Performing Arts on March 20-21 (Fri and Sat). The Friday gig is already sold out with Saturday selling fast (buy your tix here).



The big news - if Saturday sells out, the venue will add a third show! So faithful JR fans, this is exciting. Click here for more info. JR fans on Facebook or Twitter, spread the word by sharing this graphic about Covina!



We'll see you there rocking out - let's get that third show...

By the way, how good is JR at recreating the classic sound? How about this, folks - a mashup by yours truly of a head-to-head of "Just the Same Way..."



***

And Journey Revisited will play, for the first time, in Steve Perry's hometown of Hanford, CA at Kings Fair...that should be a blast.



We've added some new dates to our tour schedule, so check it out regularly. Here are the latest additions, and we expect more next week:



  • July 11, 2015
    Twilight Concert Series /  Palo Alto, CA
    Rinconada Park | 7:00 PM)  | INFO



  • August 16, 2015


  • Los Gatos Concert Series / Los Gatos, CA | Civic Center, 110 East Main Street, Los Gatos, CA 95030 | INFO

  • August 22, 2015
    Hawkins Amphitheater, Bartley Ranch Regional Park / Reno, NV |
    Sierra Nevada Performing Arts Association's Reno-Tahoe Music Festival, 8:30-10 P.M. | INFO
  • Tuesday, July 8, 2014

    Has it really been this many birthdays (51)? Yup.



    Wow! Who knew that turning 51 would be so popular? People blew up my Facebook wall today, sharing a lotta love. Thank you all for taking the time to stop by. I am overwhelmed and deeply grateful -- what an outpouring of well-wishes from friends old and new, family, readers, folks on the other side of the political aisle... (I guess you haven't forgotten the old -- and sleepy -- blogmistress yet).

    There are still a couple of hours left on the birthday clock as of this post, it looks like today will easily top 500 individual wall greetings, and 275+ "Likes" and comments are on my official birthday Wall post. Y'all are insane! xo

    Pam Spaulding is sex-ay (hey now - quit the chuckling and LMFAOs... ;)

    My days as a political blogger are now in the past, but I am being honored this year by the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance for my body of work on Pam's House Blend (2004-2013) advocating for equality for all.

    I will deliver a keynote and receive its prestigious Vicki Award at Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit 2014. The conference is August 14-17, 2014 at the Alexandria Hilton Mark Center. #SFS14

    It's a rare public appearance for me these days, so if you want to attend to see your favorite blogmistress of the past here's the 411: http://bit.ly/2014SFS



    ***

    From the site:

    What is Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit?

    The one conference focused on sexual freedom as a fundamental human right in the US. Now in its 5th year, and with four days of institutes, workshops, plenaries, and social events. The focus of the Summit is the goal of the sexual freedom movement – global recognition of our fundamental human right to sexual freedom.

    What do you mean by Sexual Freedom?

    Sexual freedom means a lot of things to people. We understand it to mean the fundamental human right of all individuals to develop and express their unique sexuality; to be personally autonomous with regard to bodily integrity and expression of body mind and spirit; and to enjoy sexual dignity, privacy and consensual sexual expression without societal or governmental interference, coercion or stigmatization.

    Friday, June 21, 2013

    Hitting a milestone on the day job...

    I made it! Well, almost made it; limping my way to the 20 year mark (I think it is actually in late September) at the day job that actually puts a roof over my head, something the Blend -- my second job and labor of love -- could not.

    The letter is to inform me that I need to go pick out an award for myself. Lots of jewelry selections (nope), sleeping bag, watches/clocks, power screwdriver, pens, pots and pans, etc. I think I'll pick a docking station for my phone.

    Tuesday, June 4, 2013

    Come to my reading: 27 Views of Durham: The Bull City in Prose & Poetry

    On Thursday I will read from my contribution to the tome 27 Views of Durham: The Bull City in Prose & Poetry.
    An anthology of Durham writers writing about their hometown, 27 Views of Durham creates a literary montage of the Bull City. In essays, poems, short stories, and anthem, the collection creates a sense of place, present and past. Contributors include Ariel Dorfman, Jim Wise, Barry Yeoman, Pierce Freelon, Pam Spaulding, Clyde Edgerton, poet James Applewhite, historian Jean Bradley Anderson, song writer Rebecca Newton, with an introduction by Steve Schewel. This is the latest book in Eno Publishers's 27 Views series that includes local anthologies of North Carolina towns: Hillsborough, Chapel Hill, and Asheville.
    My chapter touches on two bits of Durham history and charm:

    • The rise and fall of South Square Mall and how it represented change and growth in the Bull City  -- Boom and Bust;
    • Working near a downtown "landmark" of sorts -- the train trestle that is regularly assaulted by oversized box trucks that slam into it, captured on video -- Film at 11'8".

    If you're in town and have some free time, drop by! The 411:
    Steve Schewel, Pam Spaulding, John Valentine and Jim Wise read their views from this anthology of the city known for tobacco, sports, and grit.  Come join in for a lively discussion.
    Thursday, June 6, 2013 @ 7 PM
    Regulator Bookshop
    720 Ninth St.
    Durham, NC 27705
    919-286-2700
    http://www.regulatorbookshop.com/Contact: Laurin Penland: regulatorevents@gmail.com 
    The start time (7 PM) is almost past my bedtime these days; hopefully my health meter won't be on empty. Fingers crossed!

    Here's a sample of one of those crashes at Pettigrew and Gregson via Juergen Henn:

    Monday, February 4, 2013

    Week 3 post-spine surgery, week 2 of the flu


    There's nothing like recovering from surgery with the flu packed on top of the recovery. Now that I am into week 3 post-spine surgery and have caught the heinous bug of the season, I haven't been able to do the recommended distance walking every day for my PT as the flu kicked into high gear.

    My brother Tim (right) left on Sunday after spending several days down here helping me out; I bundled myself up and folded carefully into the car and Kate drove us to RDU to drop him off for his flight. Yeah, I look like (and felt like) @ss, but it was good to have him here; my appetite is pretty much nil now, but he made us homemade chili and lasagna that we could freeze and eat while I'm on the mend. Mwah! xo. (I'm the big sister, btw; Tim is five years younger).

    I managed to stay cold and flu-free for at least 3 years before this crap hit --I got my flu shot (the reports are that this year's shot is only 60% effective), used hand sanitizer everywhere, but alas, the nasty bug got me at the worst time.


    I've stayed offline (barely on Facebook/Twitter, no posting at PHB)  mostly because I'm focused on constant drinking and trying to get some sleep, coughing up a lung, etc.; talking and even seeing clearly are difficult right now. I have NO energy. This post was done over about 24 hours -- in between all the TMI stuff below; it's hard to see the laptop screen with what's going on with my eyes.


    TMI * TMI * TMI

    I've warned you, so skip over this section if you are queasy about flu symptom descriptions.

    Since I'm diabetic and have other conditions, many over-the-counter remedies folks take to help make it through a cold or flu are off limits -- no alcohol, avoid most cough syrups, no sinus or decongestion stuff (like Dayquil or Nyquil-type meds) -- so I have to address each symptom as the condition progresses.

    The first week I got little sleep because I was up every hour or so dealing with the symptoms since I can't take anything that would knock me out really well. So I worked on them all day and all night -- if you're battling the flu, perhaps we can compare notes:

    Fever: I was already dealing with nearly daily fevers (99.5-102.5) post-surgery. The flu just extended the issue; I can only take 2 mg (8 extra strength pills) of Tylenol per day, so I did that for about a week and a half at the max dose. Now I only take a single dose 2x a day and it has kept the fever in check. Almost any exertion beyond doing nothing causes it to bump up.

    Coughing -- I did take some off-limits cough syrup the first couple of days because I weighed the danger of an uncontrolled violent cough causing re-herniation of my L5-S1 disc versus the impact on my blood sugar and blood pressure and definitely avoiding additional back surgery won out. After using DM syrup a couple of days, I felt I could do well enough with some sugar-free cough drops. I am now coughing up a lot of unpleasantness, but drinking constantly to thin it, and to keep fever down. Of course constant drinking means you're also in the bathroom a lot and therefore not sleeping, but doing this helps you to get better faster. Right now I'm having difficulty with speaking, more like laryngitis, not painful like the initial sore throat that this flu started off with. Probably another phase of  "recovery."

    Breathing: Boy, there's nothing like being oxygen-deprived because of an endless supply of disgusting mucus. This I am handling a couple of ways -- 1) nasal spray only at night, to reduce the inflammation of the passages, and 2) nasal irrigation -- in my case Simply Saline spray, used much like a Netipot to help fluse the nastiness out and re-hydrate the passages because the nasal spray always dries them out. This combination works really well, so breathing hasn't been the big thorn in the side. BTW, I find most tissue to be useless for blowing my nose. I prefer carrying around a roll of good toilet paper.

    Eye discharge: By far this has been one of the worst aspects of this flu. I haven't had so much gook flow from my f'ing eyes since I was a kid. Mucus flowing constantly starting around day 5. For one afternoon/evening I sat up using tissue/q-tips every 5-10 minutes pulling phlegm-like goo out of the area in my lower eyelid and corners of my eyes or they would seal shut. Eyes were bloodshot and my vision was blurry. In between I would use saline/tear drops to lubricate the eyes to aid the discharge. By the next day, the free flow of mucus had halted; I only have to do the above about 4x a day.

    Next step is to wash out the eyes frequently since the mucus buildup even after a short nap is like nasty glue. A god send that has worked to clear this up more quickly for me is to get some baby wash (tear-free), and, with clean hands dilute some and use it to wash the garbage away from around your eyes, then repeat and while cupping your hands, open your eyes and let the diluted solution cool the eye. Then rinse. Take a disposable hand towel to gently pat your eye area dry. I usually apply some tear drops after. This helps reduce by a lot the build up while you're awake.


    Mind you there is constant hand-washing going on, it goes without saying, using Kleenex disposable hand towels. Did you know they have tissues that claim to kill 99.5% of bacteria and viruses? Kate bought me a box to try out. I'm skeptical of that claim. My skin has been really dry, including the area around my eyes. About the only thing that has been safe to address this has been Nivea hand lotion -- not to thin, not too oily, doesn't burn.

    My eyes, even with all the effort I'm putting into this, are still weak, vision kind of blurry, but they are no longer burning like a hot poker is in them, which is what it felt like around day 4.

    So we're into week 2 of this and just getting up and showering and dressing is like a marathon; I need short naps, but I'm still up a lot doing variations of the above less frequently, but it is interrupted sleep. .

    Lotsa fluids and chicken soup are being consumed. Had apple cinnamon tea a couple of times.

    I spent Super Bowl Sunday watching (actually more listening given my eyesight) a Law & Order marathon. For me it's soothing, predictable programming.


    TMI Alert Off

    As I described in the previous post, re: my back -- the incision is really looking good. It's about 2.5" long and healing cleanly. The area is still sore and gets inflamed a bit a times, but I've not needed ice packs for a few days. Just Tylenol a few times a day at this point, staying under the max.

    The coughing jags during week 1 of the flu were bad. I did feel something "pull" and my left leg went numb. That was scary. Right now the situation seems to have improved slightly, though the numbness hasn't retreated the severe ankle and foot swelling that plagued me since the acute herniation in August seems to have subsided, only occurring occasionally at night. I hope to get back to doing walking laps in the house and outdoors again as soon as this chest rattle of congestion is better, hopefully this week. I'm kind of frustrated that the necessary walking I need to do has been short-circuited by this flu. I was doing well, improving distance each day. Guess I have to start at square one.

    I see the surgeon at the end of Feb. It's likely that I will need another MRI to clear me before going back to work not only because of the flu and the coughing, but of the severity of the herniation and the more intense nature of the surgery to correct it. I am supposed to return to work March 4. If there has been re-herniation, then I may have to undergo additional surgery.

    Right now I'm on unpaid FMLA because my frequent medical absences from rheumatoid arthritis over the last year burned all my PTO away. 2012 was not a good year health wise -- but hey -- 2013 is getting off to a slammin', @ss-kicking start, isn't it, lol?


    On the good news front, I received word that because I will be out the full six weeks, and will qualify for the Kiel Donation program -- Duke staff can donate their sick leave to applicants who have exhausted their paid time off because of illness. I have to fill out the paperwork and send it in this week; I was too out of it to do anything with it over the weekend.


    I knew post-surgery life would be challenging -- and no guarantee of full recovery, but relief of acute pain has been successful so far. Here's to crossed fingers.

    Related:
    * Week 2 post-L5-S1 slice and dice: good news, not so good news

    Wednesday, April 14, 2010

    David Mixner names the 'Twenty Most Powerful Lesbians In American Politics'

    OK. I'll only give you five full descriptions from his list; you can surf over to read about the rest. David Mixner's no stranger to power lists. The best-selling author, civil rights and AIDS activist, political strategist and former advisor to Bill Clinton was once named by Newsweek as the most powerful gay man in America.

    With that in mind, here's how he conjured up his selections, meant for generating fun discussion.
    Oh, this posting will be fun and sure to result in some debate. Often very powerful and influential political Lesbians are left off the usual national LGBT publications lists. No doubt many will question some of my choices and rankings. Others will question why a male is putting together such a list. You can have fun debating both of those points in the comments section.

    To create this list, I eliminated anyone from the entertainment and sports community and focused totally on national politics and grassroots. So that leaves off such influential but not exclusively political heavy weights like Kate Clinton, Cynthia Nixon, Melissa Etheridge and Ellen DeGeneres. Some such as Nancy Sutley, who has a major position in the Obama team is lower in the list because she is not that active in LGBT issues or politics despite her powerful position.
    Who do you think made the top 5? Oy, here you go...
    1. Rachel Maddow: Who can argue with this influential and powerful commentator being number one? With her MSNBC perch, she reaches millions and doesn't shy away from being a Lesbian and covering LGBT stories. Her own journey is an amazing story and gives new definition to LGBT power.

    2. Congresswomen Tammy Baldwin: Having been in Congress for a decade as an open Lesbian, she has developed a significant power base and respect in the United States House of Representatives. Representing Wisconsin's second district, she has become a close ally of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and is a major point person in the House on LGBT legislation.

    3. Hilary Rosen: Without a doubt, one of the most powerful behind the scenes political power brokers in Washington, DC. Rosen's list of friends reads like a "who's who" in American politics both in Washington and the entertainment industry. As a television commentator, she has earned the respect of many in the nation's capital. Is there anyone she doesn't know?

    4. Pam Spaulding: Charismatic, kind and powerful are the words to describe Pam Spaulding. Her site, Pam'sHouseBlend.com, has become one of the most well-read and influential blogs in America. Quick with breaking stories, unapologetically liberal and a champion of Transgender rights, she is known for her lack of patience in freedom for LGBT people. Her influence will only grow.

    5. Randi Weingarten: As president of the American Federation of Teachers, she is the most powerful open LGBT person in American labor. She is known to be a fierce advocate for her members and fighting for LGBT rights in the American labor movement.
    The rest of the top 20 makes me squirm uncomfortably because many of them certainly should rank higher than your blogmistress. And no, I didn't slip David some scratch; in fact we have yet to meet.

    6. Speaker Christine Quinn
    7. Mayor Annise Parker
    8. Rea Carey
    9. Urvashi Vaid
    10. Dr. Marjorie Hill
    11. Kerry Eleveld
    12. Robin McGeehee
    13. Torie Osborn
    14. Nancy Sutley
    15. Kate Kendall
    16. Sheila Kuehl
    17. Karen Ocamb
    18. Elizabeth Birch
    19. Lorri Jean
    20. Coya Artichoker
    And congratulations to David, btw, who will receive the Point Legend Award from The Point Foundation in NYC on Monday.
    The Point Legend Award is presented to an individual who has, through the course of their lifetime, achieved greatness in their professional career and unapologetically supported the LGBT community. David Mixner has been a force within the LGBT community for many, many years. In celebrating 50 years of community organizing and volunteerism, Point is humbled that he’s graciously agreed to be recognized with the Point Legend Award. He continues to be a source of inspiration to society and more importantly, our youth. He is a shining example of the type of leaders Point scholars strive to be.

    Wednesday, March 10, 2010

    My Durham News column: When do dogs get 2nd chance?

    This month, I took on the subject of Michael Vick and his rehabilitation tour. He made a stop here to talk to at-risk youth. From his POV, it's to help kids learn that dogfighting can lead to your career crashing down on you. What it isn't about is restoring the reputation of a breed of dog Vick helped demonize as well as debase by shooting, electrocuting and beating to death for entertainment's sake.
    Mr. Vick and many of the students he spoke to are receiving second chances to rebuild their lives with new skills and support. In Vick's case he was asked by the Humane Society of the United States to travel around the country to talk about the animal cruelty he engaged in - and how it has affected his life. His visit here in Durham touched many, including Bull City resident Jason McClairy, 19, who said he initially raised three pit bulls to fight, but after seeing the fate of Michael Vick, is now raising them as pets.

    Those may be three lucky pit bulls.

    ...[I]n the wrong hands - like those of Mr. Vick and his cohorts - the pit bull became synonymous with unstable, anti-social, chained, aggressive dogs, bred solely for the ability to fight, maim, and kill. And that reputation led to fear and unnecessary breed-specific legislation.
    I go on to compare the message of Vick's rehab tour to the work of Cesar Millan, who has done more to rehabilitate the image of the pit bull than Vick will ever do.

    Sunday, December 20, 2009

    An informal history and photo tour of "my Durham"

    Ah, the weekend...time to slow down (particularly if you're snowed in, thankfully I'm not) to post about topics that aren't part of a news cycle.


    While many people now know I'm not one of those "big city gays," I still find myself in conversations with blogtopia peers where they make an assumption that I must be writing out of DC or New York City since I'm a political blogger.

    When I say I live in Durham, NC, a number of people have a vague notion that it's located in a relatively progressive area of the state, others don't know where it is or what it's like politically. Many assume I'm not a native of the South since I don't have a very noticeable accent (neither does my brother, we're not sure why).

    Anyway, here are the thumbnail facts: I was born in the Bull City back in the stone age of 1963, and moved to New York, specifically first to Hollis, Queens (Run-DMC!) and later Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. That was from 1976-1989. I returned to Durham in 1989 for the pace and quality of life -- all I need now is my civil equality (no small matter).

    Sure, we could pack up and move to a Blue state where our Canadian marriage was recognized, but Kate (who hails from Birmingham, AL) and I love Durham, the people here, the interesting political environment, and the fact that we can live a pleasant existence in our progressive bubble as we work to make more of our state Blue and LGBT-friendly. Someone has to do it, we can't all leave the places that need more, even difficult work to move closer to equality.

    LGBTs here have to move our lawmakers in the right direction by city and by county, letting people see we are neighbors, co-workers and members of the community. That's still a powerful cultural step of social change, particularly since decisions at the federal level will likely occur on issues like marriage before our legislature ever spines up.

    Anyway, enough soapboxing...get on with the photos. I actually took these almost two years ago, as Kate and I decided to do a little Aunt Pam video tour of Durham for my nephew Mr. E., who doesn't know anything about the town his dad Tim grew up in.

    More below the fold, including a little family history and photos around town.

     

    Most of you probably don't know that the Spauldings have a rich political history in the life of the Bull City and NC, in electoral politics, education, business, and had an impact on the civil rights movement. See C.C. Spaulding here and hereAsa Spaulding, Sr., and Elna Spaulding). The latter are my late paternal grandparents; their papers are stored in the Duke special collections library.

    Asa And Elna Spaulding Papers, 1930-1983. ca. 36,500 items
    Nationally acclaimed and internationally recognized businessman, Asa T. Spaulding Sr. (1902-1990), was president of North Carolina Mutual Life Insurance Company--one of the premier black-owned financial concerns in the United States and a keystone among the institutions that established Durham as the "Black Wall Street" during the early decades of the twentieth century. Spaulding was a leader in the insurance industry and was the first black actuary in the United States. He was an advocate for African American economic development and served as an officer in various business and insurance associations. In national politics, he was an advisor to Presidents Truman, Eisenhower, Johnson and Carter--advocating for civil rights and economic development for black Americans. He participated in several White House conferences and was appointed to a number of presidential committees. Notably, he was a member of U. S. delegations to the UNESCO conference in New Delhi, India in 1956, and to the inauguration of Liberian President William V. S. Tubman in 1957. On the local level Spaulding was a civic leader and devoted member of the White Rock Baptist Church.

    The Spaulding papers are comprised of personal and professional correspondence, speeches, photographs, clippings, awards, printed material, and business and legal papers relating to Asa Spaulding's numerous business, religious, civic, educational and political interests. The collection is particularly rich in documentation about political and community development in Durham, North Carolina.

    Complementing the materials on Asa Spaulding is material concerning his wife, Elna Bridgeforth Spaulding. A civic leader in her own right, Elna Spaulding founded and served as president of Women-In-Action for the Prevention of Violence and Its Causes, a community development and charitable organization in Durham. She was elected to two terms on the Durham County Board of Commissioners, served on numerous boards, and was active in such organizations as the Durham Day Care Council, Lincoln Community Health Center, Duke Medical Center, North Carolina Central Museum of Art, and local chapters of The Links, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, and the National Council of Negro Women. The Spaulding papers also contain genealogical materials about the Bridgeforth and Spaulding families, and include information about the Spauldings' family life with their five children.

    I guess some things are in the genes; over the summer I participated in a video, "The Spaulding Legacy and Oral History Project" on the history of the family, including the extended branches (see screen caps). Many family members are involved in some kind of community service, serve in public office, are in education, etc., so they wanted to capture the oral history of elders, in particular. Fun fact: I am somehow related to author and entrepreneur Stedman Graham, (better-known as Oprah's current/former?! BF). I've not met him.

    Oh, you may be wondering...with the whole insurance company family business stuff, whether I'm the recipient of any largesse. The answer would be no -- and there's no giant inheritance awaiting me either, lol. I've never been particularly close to this side of the family (unpleasant,complicated divorces can do that), but I owe it to Mr. E to let him know what his legacy is on this side of the fence, since I won't be around forever, and my brother Tim, who is 5 years my junior, doesn't know much about Durham and family history.

    OK, enough gabbing; here's the quick tour of some of the landmarks in Durham that were part of my childhood, certainly not comprehensive at all, but I mean come on, you'll fall asleep if it's too long...

    Left: the home I grew up in until about 5, in East Durham, south of the Durham Freeway (the construction of which destroyed much of the black business district and residences). The house on the right was the last home we lived in prior to the abrupt move to NYC. Long story. Have to explain that one to E. someday.

     
    In Central Durham, the black historic Hayti district, a street bears my family's name; only a few blocks away is the home of my grandparents (right). I remember spending many a Sunday visiting and watching, of all things, Face the Nation. No Barney, Smurfs, the Wiggles or Disney Channel back then for little Pam. Politics from day 1.

     
    Left: Where I spent K-6 - Immaculata Catholic School in downtown. I later went to public school -- Pearsontown Junior High in southern Durham (it's now an elementary school), and then we moved to NY. Right: One of the many Liggett & Myers tobacco buildings in downtown, all eventually abandoned in the 90s, and later renovated (some still undergoing change) into business and residential use. I work in one of the first warehouses that was renovated, Brightleaf Square.

     
    NC Mutual building, just up the hill from Brightleaf Square on Chapel Hill St. I was a baby when it opened. There's a photo out there somewhere of me at the building's dedication in the 60s, held aloft by then-VPOTUS Hubert Humphrey. 


    Tuesday, November 10, 2009

    Bloggers honored at 2009 Courage Awards - The NYC Anti-Violence Project

    The 2009 Courage Awards were an inspiring event, and it was humbling to be honored as one of the citizen journalists (the glamour word for bloggers, don'tcha know, since we didn't have PJs on). For an organization that handles calls 24/7 in support of those who need some place to turn to when they are the victim of bias crimes, the NYC Anti-Violence Project should be hailed for its essential work for the community.

    NYC AVP Courage Awards Blogger Acceptance Speech

    Bil Browning (The Bilerico Project), Joe Jervis (Joe.My.God.), Andy Towle (Towleroad), and Pam Spaulding (Pam's House Blend). Award presented by Michelangelo Signorile.

    As prepared, November 9, 2009 (Andy Towle); delivered by Pam Spaulding.


    Because crimes against LGBT people are seldom reported on a national basis, and covered mostly in local papers, if at all, we have a valuable opportunity to raise awareness about how severe and widespread these crimes are, and the frequency at which they occur. As one of the few forums, and perhaps the most effective, that exist right now to communicate these crimes to other gay people and our heterosexual allies, we can inspire them to take action.

    We will never stop standing up for my fellow LGBT citizens when they are struck down by hate, and never ease the pressure on those who would choose to strike us down, whether by words or by fists. Whether it be a young trans woman in Colorado referred to as "it" by a lover she thought she trusted and struck down in a rage, or a bar goer who beats a gay man with his fist to the surface of a parking lot late at night after a night of drinking in South Carolina, or a man who decides he doesn't like the look of a lesbian couple in Provincetown so he decides to push them through a plate glass window, or two deadbeats in Laramie, Wyoming who decide to mete justice on a young gay man by beating him and leaving him to die on a frigid fence, we will continue to report each and every story.

    We are humbled and challenged by the ability to communicate the amount of information we have regarding hate crimes to such a wide audience, and we will continue to be vigilant in my continuing coverage of violence against the LGBT community. It's a vigilance that would not be possible without my fellow bloggers Andy, Joe, and Bil. We cast a wide net and I am proud to be honored alongside them.
    Also honored this evening was Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tony Kushner, who delivered a humorous, engaging speech (I'll have the transcript soon).

     



    BTW, Tony Kushner also delivers wonderful spontaneous bear hugs, since I was almost tackled by him while I was videotaping actor B.D. Wong as he was finishing up his intro just before presenting the award to Kushner. (reason: he was enthusiastic after the acceptance speech (mostly written by Andy Towle, btw) I delivered. You can catch the amusing POV bowl-over on the right as my camera tilts wildly; on the left is B.D. Wong's introduction.

     



    One of the highlights of the evening for me was to have my pic taken with B.D. Wong since Kate and I are addicts of L&O: SVU. I managed to get two shots with him, one before and one after I delivered the acceptance speech for the group. Those shots are below the fold. 



    But of course I wasn't the only fan...(Joe and Bil joined in the fun as well):

     



    The full image and video gallery is here. A slideshow:

    Tuesday, October 27, 2009

    The NYC Anti-Violence Project's Courage Awards is just around the corner...

    It's coming up soon! Tickets are available. Hopefully, given my health issues, I will survive the airplane trip in one piece in order to receive this distinguished award.

    The New York City Anti-Violence Project (AVP) will hold its 13th Annual Courage Awards on Monday, November 9, 2009 at the W New York Ballroom at 541 Lexington Avenue, New York. The evening includes cocktails and a chefs' tasting and a program featuring the award presentation.

    At this year’s event, AVP has the privilege of honoring Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Tony Kushner, author of Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes and The Intelligent Homosexual's Guide to Capitalism and Socialism With a Key to the Scriptures, for his truthful and cutting edge political writing and analysis; Weblog creators Bil Browning (The Bilerico Project), Joe Jervis (Joe.My.God.), Pam Spaulding (Pam's House Blend) and Andy Towle (Towleroad), in recognition of the impact of LGBTQH weblogs have made in the fight for civil rights and against violence in our communities; and Clifford Chance US LLP, for their commitment to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and HIV-affected (LGBTQH) rights and extensive work on behalf of the communities AVP serves.

    Date: Monday, November 9, 2009

    Location: W New York Ballroom at 541 Lexington Avenue, New York

    Time: 7pm-9pm (VIP reception starting at 6pm)