Wednesday, May 13, 2026

CT results back - the good news, the bad news about T4-S1 spinal fusion


Some stats for others dealing with long fusions.

62, F, 129.8 lb, 5'3".

I've had three fusions: 
L5-S1 - (2018); left with left leg nerve damage. 
T11-S1 (Feb 2024, then PJK failure) 
T4-S1 (revision, Oct 2024)

MISC: T2D, 5.1 A1C, no insulin needed; rheumatoid arthritis (no meds); neuropathy (moderate in hands, severe from knees down). Labs still stellar.

REHAB: 2 weeks at acute care; pool therapy at 1 year mark for 2 months, land therapy 2 weeks, then home PT + acupuncture. Treadmill 3-4 times a week, resistance bands 2x/week. I obviously can no longer bend it the waist.

After my one-year checkup on my T4-S1 fusion, all was well, even though I had a fall during that rehab period. All was well until maybe January. I started to have upper body pain that was going away for the most part. I still have pretty significant balance issues (feel like Robocop) because of all the hardware, and driving aside from short jaunts in town for errands pretty much wipes me out for the whole day. Same for chores like mopping, lifting laundry, grocery bags, etc. Stuff able-bodied folks take for granted and keep on trucking puts me in bed because of the acute and chronic pain. 

A good day for me is a 4 out of 10 on the pain scale. But I do all of the chores and driving because, well, it's me, myself, and I to do it all. Balance issues probably means I need to use a cane, but I hate it; it gets in the way, so I usually leave it in the car. I'm stubborn. A cane means I really shouldn't walk outside for exercise alone, so that's why I'm relegated to the treadmill to get cardio in.

Note to fellow spine warriors: yes, I use other assistive devices out of necessity, even 18 months out from surgery:
  • grabbers, to pick things up off of the floor (I have 5 around the house)
  • shower chair: when the pain is bad, it's immeasurably helpful
  • sock put-on thing: need it because I can't bend enough.
Since the upper body pain was getting worse since January, included that sensation of my rib cage being squeezed (girdle sensation), it was making it hard to breathe while lying down. I knew something was wrong; I was falling in my home fairly often (at least once a month), and I was dropping things from my hands frequently, suggesting neuropathia and motor issues. So it took months, since the medical system isn't racing to do anything that isn't an emergency.  

I had an MRI, Nerve Conduction Study and lower leg EMG (electromyography) test through a neurologist. BTW, the MRI didn't show anything of note; it appears that it cannot always pick up cervical issues caused by gravity (your head and shoulders) if you are lying down. They do have upright MRIs; I did have one once. They are good for folks who are claustrophobic; I'm not, I fall asleep during them. 

Those NCS/CMG tests confirmed my existing neuropathy and nerve damage from prior surgeries, but it also confirmed sensory delays in my hands (4.48 ms and 3.59 ms) - why I drop things. My pain doctor set up the CT scan, and that occurred in May.

So the takeaway from my May 7, 2026 CT scan of my thoracic area...


🧠 The biggest takeaway first

GOOD NEWS:

The CT did NOT show:

  • A new fracture
  • Hardware failure
  • Broken rods or screws
  • Severe instability
  • Major spinal canal compression

So that's the good news.



⚠️ The most important finding (
The BAD NEWS)

“T1-T2 mild central canal stenosis relating to annular bulging”


🧠 What is T1-T2?

This is the junction between your lower neck and upper thoracic spine VERY close to the top of your fusion

Remember:

  • your fusion begins around T4/T5
  • so T1-T2 is part of the “transition zone”
  • That area is under extra stress because the fused spine below it cannot absorb motion normally.

T1-T2 Mild Central Canal Stenosis: At the T1-T2 level (the base of your neck/top of your shoulders), the report notes "mild central canal stenosis". This means the main tunnel that holds your spinal cord is slightly narrowed.

The Cause: This narrowing is caused by "diffuse annular bulging," which is a disc that is slightly flattened and pushing backward toward the spinal cord.  

The Connection: This is likely a major contributor to the "girdle sensation" and the pain you feel between your shoulder blades. When you lift groceries or drive, the muscles and discs in this transition area are under extra stress, which can temporarily increase the pressure on the cord.  

🚗 Why driving hurts so much now (confirmed mechanically)
This CT supports the idea that: the junction above your fusion is overloaded
Driving causes:
  • vibration
  • static posture
  • shoulder/upper back tension
👉 which increases stress at T1-T2/T4 transition areas

X-Ray from Oct, 2025.

You are experiencing:

“JUNCTIONAL OVERLOAD SYNDROME” (aka Adjacent Segment Disease). Junctional overload syndrome, specifically proximal junctional kyphosis (PJK) or failure (PJF) at the T1 level, is a known complication of long spinal fusions (such as T4 to S1) where the segment immediately above the hardware experiences accelerated degeneration, abnormal stress, and structural breakdown. This condition, often termed Adjacent Segment Disease (ASD) or Syndrome, occurs because the rigid, fused spine (T4-S1) forces the non-fused, upper thoracic levels (T1, T2) to absorb excessive biomechanical stress.



ANYWAY...so that's the long version of what the CT said. 

Short answer is the CT found problems at T1 that are from the constant pressure on my remaining spine where there's no hardware. And T1 is taking the punishment. It may or may not fracture (as my spine did after the Feb 2024 T10-S1 fusion that failed), but it's at risk, and the spinal cord is already getting triggered there. 

Options: No surgery required yet, thankfully, but that doesn't help with this acute and chronic pain that is truly disabling if I cannot drive far without laying me out, or do activities without ending up spending 70% of the time in bed.

👉What your surgeon will probably focus on next:

Likely:
  • conservative management first
  • activity modification
  • pain control
  • monitoring progression
Possibly:
  • physical therapy tailored to fusion mechanics
  • injections
  • bracing
  • posture/driving modifications
⚠️ What to watch carefully over time. Tell your surgeon promptly if you develop:
  • worsening balance
  • worsening hand weakness
  • increasing gait instability
  • bowel/bladder changes
  • rapidly worsening thoracic pain
That's where things stand for now, folks. It really put a damper on my plans to travel to the East Coast due to many things. Traveling alone in this condition is unwise, given my balance issues and degenerating spine. I can hopefully manage the pain and figure out the balance issues so I can do more than sit here and rot for my 63rd birthday in July. Sigh.

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Familiar, not-so-fun developments, 18 months out from T4-S1 fusion surgery

62, F, 129.2 lb, 5'3". I've had three fusions: 
  • L5-S1 - (2018); left with left leg nerve damage. 
  • T11-S1 (Feb 2024, then PJK failure) 
  • T4-S1 (revision, Oct 2024)
The good news - I've added a few pounds of muscle back, thank goodness, from consistent treadmill work despite neuropathic pain in my feet making it challenging, and resistance band training for my lower and upper body. Otherwise weight steady, A1C 5.1 (normal), all my labs excellent.

Not-so-good news - persistent, oftentimes acute pain across the shoulder blades, particularly after driving. I expect soreness, after all, that's the point where the hardware ends and my natural deteriorating spine takes over. 

I started to have neck pain as well, and some worrisome consistent numbness in my hands, and they were often cold, and I started to drop things. Like all the time, silverware, pens, always fine motor kinds of issues.  Those were all new to me, and my neuropathy/nerve damage overall I knew wouldn't improve, but the new issues were troubling. Given our medical system (I'm disabled, and therefore on Medicare), getting non-urgent matters diagnosed and addressed takes forever. But I've at least got good primary care that listen to me, since I do plenty of research and come prepared to appointments to ask questions about evidence-based stuff. Anyhoo, my thought was to get to a neurologist and have Nerve Conduction Study (NCS) and lower leg EMG (electromyography) tests. Those detect and measure nerve damage, muscle diseases, and nerve compression.

I already had existing damage in my left leg that causes it to collapse unexpectedly when going up or down stairs. It's not trustworthy, lol.

What the tests found, all expected:
Local compression (peroneal nerve)
Broader nerve dysfunction (neuropathy)
Likely spine-related nerve involvement (L5)

What I didn't expect was slow signals in my arms, which would suggest some nerve issues in the cervical spine (neck). All the MRI showed was arthritis there.

So as of May 07, 2026, I await CT results on the thoracic area (T4), where I am at risk of fracture.  What is most alarming, pain wise, is it feels very similar to the way it felt at T10 after surgery #2, when it fractured

The other pain I am now experiencing on almost a daily basis that had gone away after about 7 months of healing of this last surgery - the feeling that my ribs are being squeezed, like I am in a vise. Especially when lying down. It makes coughing almost impossible without severe pain, and breathing very labored while lying down. At least it is a thing.  It's called Girdle Pain.

"Girdle pain" associated with a T4 fusion refers to a distinct set of symptoms known as T4 Syndrome, which often presents as a tight, "girdle-like" band of pain around the chest, along with upper back pain and arm symptoms.

Connecting the "Girdle" Pain to the Neck Strain
  • The muscle strain you feel behind your ear (often involving the sternocleidomastoid or splenius capitis muscles) is likely a direct result of your body trying to compensate for the "girdle" sensation at T4.
  • The Compensation Chain: When the T4 level is stressed (the "band" feeling), your body naturally shifts your head forward to find a position of comfort. This "forward head posture" puts immense strain on the small muscles at the base of your skull and behind your ears.
  • The "Tug of War": Your T4-pelvis fusion is a heavy, rigid anchor. Your neck is currently the only part of your upper body trying to provide mobility. This creates a "tug of war" at the C4-T4 junction, causing those muscles behind your ear to stay in a state of chronic contraction (muscle guarding).
  • Feeling squeezed when lying down can occur because the muscles between your ribs (intercostals) aren't expanding fully due to that nerve irritation, making it feel like your breathing is restricted even if your lungs are healthy.
In any case, I need to find out if the T3 is going south on me. I really cannot imagine going through another extension of my fusion. All that pain and agony and recovery alone again. But if it's going to go, it's not like I can stop gravity from collapsing and causing Proximal Junctional Kyphosis (PJK) there.

Let's just say, I don't want to think about it right now. I've lost essentially 2 years of my life in pre-surgery or post-surgery extreme pain and increasing disability, even when the surgery technically was "successful." 

This past weekend it was the first fair/outdoor concert I've been to in many months. I had a good time, but oh lord, all the walking, the hard bench seating, and the hour-long drive each way destroyed me. I was in bed for almost two days, barely able to make it to the kitchen to make something to eat. It was that bad, but I at least, for a short time, felt a part of society instead of a shut in. While it's nice to gab and socialize online, it's not the same as LIVING in the real world.

I just wish I didn't pay such an awful physical price to do things most folks take for granted.

Before my spine took a dive, I took my able bodied status for granted too. Use it, because you never know when you're going to lose it!




Tuesday, October 28, 2025

One year anniversary, T4-S1 revision fusion surgery


62, F, 126.5 lb, 5'3". I've had three fusions: 
  • L5-S1 - (2018); left with left leg nerve damage. 
  • T11-S1 (Feb 2024, then PJK failure) 
  • T4-S1 (revision, Oct 2024)

So it's been a year since the last fusion, and I have to go back to UCSF for full eval. I also participate in several studies, as I am in an older demo from most long fusion patients, it's useful to see how my creaky-ass body makes it through such a traumatizing process, lol. 

ANYWAY, the goal I had set for myself after two fusions/recoveries in one year, and much of it in bed, or PT (6 months of pool therapy & 2 land based; I now do treadmill and resistance band PT at home) is to br able to make the 2.5 hour drive alone to SF. It's no small feat because driving places an incredible amount of stress at the top of my hardware (T4), where your natural spine takes over at that point in your thoracic spine, up to the cervical/neck/skull. I was able to drive very short distances at about 12 weeks, and it was extremely draining. In the interim the longest drives before this one to SF were about 90 mi RT in one day, and the longest about 200 mi RT (w/a rest day).


Holding that steering wheel is brutal just because of the position, so rest breaks are advised. I planned it all out because from my part of CA, if you don't time your drive right, a 2.5 hour drive can become a 6 hour nightmare because of traffic. So I had to work out all the logistics for what would be a mere 3 hours in the actual clinic.

Plan:
  1. Leave on Sunday night, check into a hotel that has indoor parking;
  2. Take an Uber to the actual appt on Monday AM and back to hotel after it's over;
  3. Stay over at the hotel for either several hours of rest and drive home later that night OR stay until the AM and check out.
So yeah, that's a very expensive, extended doctor's appointment, but it's the only way to be able do this alone and to be safe. It's incredibly difficult for me to safely do stairs as I can no longer bend at the waist because of the fusion hardware, and my balance is craptastic now, so a hotel is the most comfortable way to do it. 

So I packed a bag - no small deal once you're disabled and need assistive devices for dressing, putting on socks, grabbing things off of the floor, etc., and the right clothes, shoes, and toiletries, medications - required me to make lists and check them twice. I'm also stubborn and only use a cane if I'm going to be on uneven pavement where it's easy to topple me over. I'm like a tortoise on its back; it's hard for me to roll over and get up. But I always keep a cane in the car.

Took a small cooler & my trusty thermos to stay hydrated and I was off.

Sunday, Oct 26, 2025


The drive was pleasant as I left in the afternoon so I planned to arrive around check-in time. The Central Valley weather is dry and cool in the fall; once you get to the Bay it's humid and cooler; it was in the 40s-50s, but felt so much colder to me since I don't tolerate cold damp weather at all (if you have rheumatoid arthritis it's a double whammy that humidity and big swings in barometric pressure are horrid on the body). Now that I have a spine full of hardware, the cold I can feel very acutely. It's a known phenomenon for spinal fusion patients to feel like the titanium conducts cold, so winters can be brutal. It has always been so for me. Ugh.

On this day it was tolerable. Sundays are an easy drive going to SF, but coming back in my direction this time there was quite a bit of traffic as I neared the Bay Area. But driving into the downtown area was actually pleasant. My room at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway was nice; it wasn't my first stay there, so I knew the bed would pass the "broken spine test" - I could actually sleep on the mattress, not too hard, not too soft. Once you're sliced up and turned into Robocop, bed comfort is HUGE. No great view, but I wasn't paying for that (I had accrued points to save $). Just a clean comfortable convenient room (and it has indoor parking for the car, so it was safe for the duration). 


So I was hungry, and decided I'd landed successfully at my destination, so I ventured out a couple of blocks away to get some takeout Indian food (something I had not had since before the 2024 surgery!). The walk was down a long block, so the walk back was cold, a lot harder, and dicey as the wind nearly blew me over...but it was worth it. It was yummy, and as you might imagine as it's SF, pricey. This is what you get for $30: 

I surfed for a while, let folks know I was ok and it was jammie time. No TV, just put my earbuds in, watched a few vids, then crashed out, since I knew I would have to be up around 6 and head to the hospital.


Monday, Oct 27, 2025

Got up without needing the alarm, but I felt pretty sore all over. But I was excited to get going for the day. Got an Uber, was checked in and didn't have to wait long to get underway. I had imaging done and, thank goodness, looks like all is well, in terms of things fusing properly. It can take up to 18 months, but the one-year point you want to make sure there are no hardware issues or signs of adjacent segment disease (fractures at top of the fusion that are under a lot of pressure, even if you are strict about no bending, lifting, twisting during recovery). 

So I'm in the watch and wait, was able to continue PT, walk, stretch, but still mindful of falls and ways that you can still screw up your fusion. I continue to do acupuncture once a week, because I am too this day thrashed by driving. 

I was very tired after all the tests and things during the appointment, so I was glad to get back, finish what was left over from last night for a meal, and then crash out in bed to see how I would feel later once the roads were dead, long past rush hour, I decided to drive back that evening on Monday, but left around 8:30PM. 

Got home in about 2.5 hours, great timing. Was VERY glad to slowly unload my stuff, get into jammies, hydrate and get my legs up. Pain management can be challenging when you overextend yourself. Most of my pain is nerve related -- existing severe neuropathy in my legs and feet, and nerve damage related to fusion #1 and #2. 

Everything seemed to go well...for a few months anyway. Sigh. 

Saving that for the next post...

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Fall 7 months after T4-S1 & nerve damage

One of my posts from the r/spinalfusion sub (highly recommended for folks facing back surgery)


61, F, 125 lb, 5'3". I've had three fusions:
  • L5-S1 - (2018); left with left leg nerve damage.
  • T11-S1 (Feb 2024, then PJK failure)
  • T4-S1 (revision, Oct 2024)
I've been doing great in physical therapy (pool) rebuilding strength after losing so much during recovery. I'm also doing acupuncture, along with cupping & massage (all together in one session). I can no longer bend at the waist because of all the hardware:

Pic: Before/After Fusions #2 and #3

THE FALL

I had a rough fall yesterday after squatting down (properly) to pick up something off of the ground, which is always awkward.

I went to stand up and my left leg nerve (damaged from 2018) completely gave out and I collapsed like a tree falling over.

When I hit the ground on my side, the impact felt like it shook my entire body and I rolled over onto my back. My friend was there and came over to help.

I collected myself and rolled to the curb and he helped me up. It would have been almost impossible to get up if I had been alone.

It's one of my worst nightmares because I can't bend at the waist and I've practiced in post-surgery rehab to get up if I fall at home. I've not fallen at home yet, but the left leg nerve can go out at any time, anywhere. Thankfully I live on one level.

So it's the day after and my entire body hurts like hell (muscular pain). I don't feel like any hardware has been affected after 7 months of recovery/fusion.

Q: Have others fallen or injured themselves during the first year of recovery / fusion? Did you experience that whole body ache with multi-level fusion?
A: Yes, others answered that it's common

Q: What would make things safer? I use grabbers all the time at home but maybe I need one in the car if I'm alone or carry it on my person? They don't always work for every situation.
A: Yes I have all kinds of grabbers of different lengths and they are all over the house sometimes two in one room in case you drop one you can pick it up. None of them are small enough that they fit in a purse but they would in a larger satchel or messenger bag.

Q: Since that nerve is unreliable will I need to use a cane now?
A: I have started using a cane when I'm on uneven surfaces. I have a few canes. The most comfortable one is the kind that will stand up on its own that has the rubber flexible sole. A knock off of the hurri-cane. 

It left me feeling pretty defeated because I've regained a lot of strength in my legs and core but it's kind of rendered irrelevant if nerve damage can take me out. 🤔

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Recovery from a long spinal fusion (T4-S1), my third!

Written Nov 2024.
122 staples, BTW, removed painfully 21 days later. Surgery was on October 22nd, with 5 days in the hospital, 2 weeks in rehab facility. I came home two weeks early because I worked really hard on PT and OT. Plus I had the unfortunate experience of having two prior fusions, so my home was already prepared for a back surgery with a shower chair and pickers in strategic places. I only needed home health nurse for three visits to change dressing since I live alone.

In 2018 I had an L5-S1 fusion and the surgeon said it's likely you'll be back in 5 years or so. And he was right.

The second fusion was T10 to S1, that was February of this year by a different surgeon. About a month after I came home I had primary junctional failure at T10 after collapse of the fractured vertebrae (see before and after the revision surgery below).

And this most recent fusion was as I said in October with all of the hardware removed and replaced and extended up to T4. Let's just say I pray I don't have failure there. I was put into a cervical collar after surgery to ward off failure at T4 and I have to wear it until my first follow up on December 19th. Then we will see how it goes. No driving for 12 weeks.

At home my only physical therapy is walking. I have a walking pad.

And the final bit of information is pain control -- yipes, it is extremely difficult. I can't tell you how horrible surgery pain of this magnitude is. I have a high pain tolerance and between the pain of the surgical incision and all those muscles sliced, and the discomfort of the cervical collar, I get very little sleep. I can't complain about actual pain medication. I was given adequate coverage while in the hospital and rehab, oxycodone and gabapentin as well as tizanidine. All common prescribed medications.

Because I also have rheumatoid arthritis and neuropathy in my feet up to my calves I'm used to chronic pain (4 out of 10 is a good day for me), but this is another level of misery. I have pain management through a pain clinic and they did a good job handing off the baton to my pain clinic once I was home.

So I'm not quite a month out from surgery, and it's really rough but I am managing to get an hour here or an hour there of sleep. Then I get up and walk. With this collar on you don't really have to worry about violating bending, lifting, twisting... It's really hard to do comfortably.

PROCEDURES PERFORMED
(The most recent fusion, Oct 2024):

1. Posterior spinal fusion, posterior spinal instrumentation, T4 to pelvis. 
2. ICBG bilaterally 
3. Pelvic fixation bilaterally
4. Type 1 posterior column osteotomy T4 to S1 at each level x 13 
5. Allograft
6. Ligament repair T4 to T5 
7. Exploration fusion T11 to S1
8. Removal hardware T11 to S1

Tuesday, October 1, 2024

Making it past rough times with unrelenting pain, isolation, multiple surgeries

A dark, but realistic meditation I posted on r/ChronicPain (highly recommended sub), when I was in deep suffering from the failed second spinal fusion, and myriad health conditions.


Basics: 60F, I live alone, and I have had chronic pain from several issues with increasing pain over the years to manage: rheumatoid arthritis, neuropathy in both feet and calves, and I've had 3 back operations (1 discectomy and two fusions, 2018: 360 L5-S1 and Feb this year TLIF T11-S1), and because of a fracture and collapse at T10 a couple of months ago during my recovery, I now face a revision surgery, extending the fusion into the upper thoracic spine because of proximal junctional kyphosis (PJK). Argh.

Dealing with the pain and isolation (or not)

I'm sure many of you on this sub have encountered similar situations and challenges. I read many of your stories to feel less alone about how difficult this journey can be.

The pain is sometimes unmanageable and the medical system does nothing at lightning speed. I don't have a consult for my fourth surgery until July 22nd I don't know how I'm going to make it until then. Because of the relative danger of operating on this area of my spine, I'm being referred to a specialist in this type of surgery and he's in demand.

I'd like to hear from others about the psychological impact of being in so much chronic, acute pain for an extended period of time while waiting and waiting and waiting for diagnosis and consultation and then another surgery with a very long recovery…with an uncertain outcome.

I'm also acutely aware that I'm always initiating conversations with friends and family. No one ever checks in on me -- even knowing the condition I'm in. From my perspective, I imagine if I died no one would even know. I'm not saying no one would care – but it's pretty self-evident folks would get over it and move on.

It's a real, but sorry state of affairs. And it's not that I'm living alone. Plenty of people live alone but people stay in contact with them. And some people have plenty of people and support around them but feel extremely alone anyway.

However, I also think there are other things that have nothing to do with me personally that are responsible for my isolation.

Compassion fatigue. When people talk to me I really have nothing positive to report about my life because it's deteriorating and spiraling out of my control. My health, despite all of the good work that I do to care for myself has resulted in nothing but further disability, deformation, and horrific chronic pain.

The fractured back means I rarely get out and all my energy is just to do simple tasks, buy a few groceries, and just survive. Right now I spend about 80% of my day in bed because the pain is so bad. Driving is particularly difficult because of the location of the fracture in my thoracic spine. The pain feels like my rib cage is in a vise wrapping all the way around me.

So, no one wants to hear about things that they can't do anything about -- they feel helpless and so they just drop out of contact because feel they can't contribute anything helpful.

And the other phenomenon, I think, is that in the recesses of almost everyone's minds is aversion to the terror that this kind of situation could happen to them - declining health, disability, and isolation. So you avoid the thing that scares you.

It's definitely a thing. But being aware of it, and knowing it, doesn't change the outcome on the person who is experiencing it. You are essentially "abandoned" by everyone you know.

Add that on top of just life in general. Everybody has their day-to-day lives that they attend to, often that includes taking care of other relatives or children or work, or enjoying vacations, gathering time with friends and family etc.

And distance really isn't the issue because many people experience what I have because they simply can't participate in so many social events, even if they live nearby because they are too broken or sick to do so and so you stop getting invited, called, etc.

So I'm not sure why people are surprised, with a significant sick, disabled, elderly population, there are many many people who don't feel they matter...

But it's probably time to start talk therapy to make it through this.

Friday, August 23, 2024

It's all gone now...

I gave up. It's all gone now.

After taking ashwagandha for a month to deal with stress and chronic pain as I look forward to a fourth spinal surgery in October, I started seeing my locs drop off at an alarming rate.

I started my locs in 1999, cutting them over the years. They started to thin a few years ago (and I had very thick hair) so watching them disappear slowly, started wearing more hats, and then rapidly over the last month, I decided to cut off the rest. A lot of tears were shed.

Seeing what I was left with (a short natural), my hair was patchy with plenty of bald spots.

The night before last, I just gave up. Because I have PCOS, female pattern baldness was definitely partially responsible, and at 61 I'm probably perimenopausal so what was left was probably doomed anyway.

I buzzed it down to 3 mm.

Yesterday morning, I took a razor and shaved all of it off.

So it's Day One, post-hair.

I'm in mourning, in shock, slowly accepting that I will never have that hair back. It will never be thick again. The question is -- what will grow back. What I did have was different in texture and thickness thsn the hair of my youth. And I don't know how much gray will come in. I had some front and on the sides but I'm not going to color it. Heck maybe I won't even grow it out.

I have plenty of scarves and hats, but not quite enough courage to go out full chrome dome. 

At least my hair will be low maintenance while I am in physical rehab for weeks after my seven-level fusion surgery. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just leaving my story here; I know others feel the pain...